What Men Want & Women In Movies

So I saw this image on my tumblr feed (courtesy of this isn’t happiness) and it got me thinking about women. In particular, how women are portrayed in local movies.

See, I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly. I am more attracted to confident women who don’t give a fuck. It’s very easy for me to find a visually attractive girl with all the ‘right’ features unattractive. Half the time all it takes is for them to open their mouths.

But confident women? Women who truly don’t give a flying fuck? I like that. And that confidence can come across in different ways. They may not necessarily show it up front but you can sense it. There are enough women (and men) out there who give off the front of confidence without actually having any and those don’t float my boat - after a while, you can kinda see behind the mask.

Confident women? Way more sexier than tits and ass.

Though let’s be honest here - I like tits and ass as much as the next guy. It’s just that those same pairs of tits and ass can get unattractive real quick if there’s no real person behind it. Thank God I don’t have to meet every porn star before viewing their work. That would ruin it completely. Anyway, moving on…

When I saw that image I was ready to click ‘reblog’ on tumblr and then I paused for a moment and wondered to myself - does this apply to local men in Malaysia? Because from what I’ve seen, for a large majority of men in this country it’s exactly that kind of woman they’d rather not be with. They’ll sleep with them, maybe, but they sure wouldn’t have a relationship with them.

From what I’ve seen of most men in this country a confident woman who doesn’t give a fuck is almost something to be feared - how are you gonna control them? How are you gonna be the man of the house if your wife’s balls are bigger than yours? I find it interesting because in a way it says everything that needs to be said about these men who are put off by confident women - teeny weeny tiny balls, frontin’ like they’ve got a fat sack of cum nuts.

But you don’t have a fat sack of cum nuts, do you, sir? No, you don’t.

Nowhere is it more evident than in a lot of our local movies - woman are often portrayed as waifs, airheads, weak and/or deviating from the right ‘path’ and it takes a man to hold them by the hand and show them the ‘true’ way.

At this point I wish I could type ‘BULLSHIT!’ in big capital letters but that wouldn’t be true. I’ve met a lot of women in real life who act just like these women I’ve described and it makes me wonder which came first - the real life version or the movie version? I wonder whether the way they’re portrayed in movies makes girls act like that in real life, not having any real reference or role model apart from those they’ve seen on the silver screen.

The thing is, I don’t hang out with women like that. I have a lot of female friends and none of them act ‘gedik’. I would never classify any one of them as weak and they’re all, in their own ways, confident women. Women with a brain, driven, strong, with strong personalities, opinions and thoughts.

If you’ve watched Relationship Status, you’d notice that almost all the women are, in their own way, confident and strong whilst most of the men are, predominantly, idiots. It’s because that’s the world I live in, these are the types of women I meet in my life and I hardly ever see them portrayed in local movies. In any other movie, Davina Goh’s character in Relationship Status would’ve been played as a slut, a woman that needs to be saved.

Balls to that. I’m in no position to place judgement on a character like that. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been with girls like that, in the whole “we’re kinda going out but we’re not an item” scenario. It’s frustrating as hell and it’s painful and it pushed all the right emo buttons inside me to turn me into a quivering wreck, but I would never call that character a slut.

(Actually, maybe I shouldn’t say ‘never’. Maybe if I was in the same situation and I was lashing out, but that’s the emotions talking. Maybe. Anyway, back to the plot).

The main reason the movie got a PG-13 was because of Davina’s character. The fact that she sleeps with Gavin Yap’s character without being married to him and condones the idea of sleeping with other people got a whole paragraph in the ‘reasons this movie is rated PG 13’. It was one of the toughest characters for me to cast because it would be so easy to demonize that character which was one thing I definitely did not want because in any other local movie that’s what would happen.

It was also a very conscious decision to have no alpha-male type character because I’m sick of seeing men portrayed in local movies that way - the type of man that the female character needs to be with by act 3 in order to make everything in her life better. The type of man that knows what to do, that does the right thing, that’s strong and physically superior to all other men.

To that, I definitely say BULLSHIT! in capital letters. I have yet to meet a dude like that. The men in my life that I’ve met who fit that bill are all over 50 and only fit the bill because they’ve gone through their life, made their mistakes and know what the score is in their autumn years. You find me a 30 year old that fits that description and odds are it’s a front that I’ll see through within 5 minutes of meeting the dude. I know some confident men within my age range, yes - and these same men are confident enough to be humble and say that they’re weak and flawed.

This is probably why I enjoyed the late Yasmin Ahmad’s ‘Sepet’ so much - the girl was the stronger character in that movie, not the boy, and that spoke to me because those were the type of girls I’d meet, the type of ladies I’d fall for, the type of women that are within my circle of friends - strong characters, confident enough to speak their mind and not give a fuck.

I’d like to see these type of women represented in mainstream local movies more as opposed to the wish-fulfillment fantasy vision of weak, adoring girls who look up to the alpha male because that’s what that is, plain and simple - a very specific male fantasy of the male majority in this country who wish them bitches would just stay in the kitchen, raise them kids and look up to them as the Man of the house.

Balls to that. I don’t want a servant, I want an equal. Confidence attracts me. Talent attracts me. Creativity attracts me.

But then again, maybe that’s just me and my circle of friends. Who knows.

Personally, I believe there are very few true alpha males left in the world. And those that are have the utmost respect for women, regardless of their tits and ass.

Though ain’t nothin’ wrong with a lil’ tits and ass. Just sayin’…